Dear Harlan: I’m in a long-distance relationship. We dated last year and then he had to move away for his job. I visited over winter break, and we reconnected and decided to start dating long-distance. We’re great together, but he’s shared with me that he doesn’t want us to get too serious, but he doesn’t want to break up. He’s thinking about moving to another country, once again for his job, and I still have two more years of school left. Should we just break up? – Uncertain
Dear Uncertain: Your boyfriend is quite the romantic. Let me clear this up: What do you want? Forget about him. He’s doing whatever he wants to do. Nothing is holding him back. He wants a standby girlfriend — she stands by while he does whatever he wants. If this is the kind of relationship you want, then you got it. But if you want to have something deeper, more serious and committed, you have the wrong man. Here’s what scares you — once you set boundaries and tell him what you want, you’ll be alone. No one wants to be alone. But the way things are set up, you’re already going to be alone. So, focus on what you want. If he can’t give it to you, then find someone who can. Who knows? After he experiences life without you, maybe he’ll realize he can’t be without you.
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