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You never win when bad-mouthing friend's loser boyfriend

Angry Crazy Woman With Rage Expression

Dear Harlan, How do you talk to a friend who you think is in a bad (not abusive, but just poor) relationship? I think it would be best for the two of them to go their separate ways, but they’re very comfortable together and don’t want to be vulnerable. How can I help her see that this isn’t healthy? – Worried Watcher

Dear Worried, NEVER write it, text it, or record it. They might get married and when her big loser boyfriend reads finds it — he will hate you. Be a best friend, but never make her choose between you and him. Show her what it’s like to be in great relationships. Be there for her. Invite her to do things with you. Encourage her to challenge herself. Go on trips, take on physical challenges together, encourage her to develop interests outside of him. The more she grows as an individual, the more power she will have to go her separate way. If she doesn’t let you in her life, ask for one night a week. But never make her choose between you and him. The friend always loses.

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