Dear Harlan: The phrase “no chest, no sex” is commonly used on social media and in everyday speaking among young people. I’m wondering, is this true? Is this what guys really want? — No Chest
Dear No Chest: Ah, yes – I know this expression. It’s one of those demoralizing phrases uncomfortable people who don’t have sex like to use in order to put other people down because they feel so terrible about themselves. They use a lot of other expressions too. They’re part of a bigger strategy. See, when people are unhappy with themselves, they like to take other people down with them. When you hear this, read this or come across this expression on social media, remember that it’s NEVER about you. It’s always about the person saying these terrible, hurtful things. People love all different body types. Even people who like one physical quality can fall in love with a partner who doesn’t possess that physical quality. Don’t believe me? Look around. You’ll see couples in love with chests, no chests, butts, no butts, bellies, no bellies, short legs, long legs, lots of hair, no hair – there are so many people who will be attracted to you. Don’t look for validation from anyone else. Work on loving yourself and your body. Loving yourself will keep you from worrying about what others think and help you focus more on what you think and want. What you think is what matters most.