Dear Harlan: I think I’m falling for my gay roommate. Last weekend, we went to a house party and got completely plastered. When we got home, we were getting ready to crash, and we managed to butt heads. We laughed it off, but one thing led to another and I ended up having the most intense make-out session of my life. We woke up the next morning and realized what had happened. I flipped out a little bit and told him I needed space. He understood, and we haven’t talked much since. This is really getting to me. He is my best friend. We party, chill, study and do almost everything together. We also are mirror images of each other. He told me during the first month of school that he had fallen for me already. Platonically, he is everything I like in a gay guy — totally straight-acting, not flamboyant and doesn’t push his sexuality in your face. Those attributes are now only feeding my feelings. I also have a lot to lose if I go through with this. Girls want me, and I get them! What should I do?
Falling
Dear Falling: Women love gay, bisexual, and questioning men. That’s not your problem. It’s that you don’t want to admit that you loved making out with your roommate — a man. You’re freaked out because you’re attracted to a man. You never thought you were gay, bisexual or questioning. Then, boom — the drunk make-out session. You loved it. There’s no shame. It’s not a bad thing. It’s only dangerous because he’s your roommate, best friend, and first same-sex encounter. Find support. Figure out what you want (while sober). Reach out to the LGBTQ center on campus (while sober). Talk to a therapist (while sober). But do not get involved with your roommate until he’s not your roommate AND you know what you want— while sober.