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Girlfriend dumps boyfriend, friends dump her

Lonely student being bullied by her peers at the universityDear Harlan, I recently cut things off with my boyfriend. We had all the same friends. They have all taken his side. How do I make an entire group of people stop hating me after a breakup? I miss my friends. – Badly Broken

Dear Badly Broken, Don’t even try to stop them from hating you. It will just give them more reasons to hate you. Give them permission and time to realize they miss you. In the meantime, don’t expect life to be the same. Do things you love to do with people who share similar interests. Find organized groups (spiritual, organizational, athletic, professional, etc.). Use this time to become more interesting and dynamic. Patience, places and people will fix the problem, but it’s going to take shifting your thinking. While you’re getting to a better place, reach out to a couple of the friends you miss and trust – see if you can get together outside of the group. True friends will want to reconnect.

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