Dear Harlan: My son, who is a freshman in college, wants to have his friends stay with us for summer break because we live near the beach. I want to tell him “no” because I am worried sick about the drinking that I know they all love to do. I have met only one of the kids that he wants to bring into our home; there are three others that he wants to bring. I feel so torn. I just don’t want to deal with the underage drinking, driving, worrying and heaven knows what else. He argues with every point I try to make. My husband is a business owner in town, and I fear that if something were to happen, we could lose everything. I hate being that mom who won’t let him bring friends around because I’m so happy he has made some. I just don’t know how to handle this! Any helpful advice would be appreciated. Arguing with an 18-year-old who thinks he’s invincible is exhausting!
— Worried Mom
Dear Worried Mom: There’s no arguing. Your place, your rules. Then there are local and state rules. These are rules enforced by the police. If the police discover that alcohol is being consumed on your property or that you’re supplying alcohol to underage teenagers, knowingly or not, you’re all in big-time trouble. And if someone gets hurt, injured or killed, you’re in even bigger trouble. If you lose everything as a result of the trouble, there won’t be a house, either near the beach or away from the beach. Then he and his friends will have nowhere to stay. It’s a simple conversation with your son. Anyone is welcome to come to your house, but there is no underage drinking allowed. It’s non-negotiable. If he doesn’t respect the rules, or his friends can’t respect them, he can find another place to stay. No need to argue. House rules rule.
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