Dear Harlan: I’ve been working for the same employer for five years, and I’ve been miserable for the past two years. I started looking for a job a few months ago. I’ve gone on job interviews using sick days and vacation days. I still don’t have an offer. Meanwhile, my boss has been giving me much more responsibility. I’m in charge of a new team and have to spend more time doing a job I hate. He is under the impression that I’m going to be working here for life. I don’t want to mislead him, but I don’t have a new job yet. At what point should I say something to him? I want to end the job on a good note, but I know he’s going to be hurt. I wish I hated him, but he’s been fair and good to me. Is there a way to look for a new job and be loyal to my current boss? I feel like I’m stabbing him in the back. — Hating My Job
Dear Hating My Job: It feels like you’re stabbing him in the back because you are stabbing him in the back. It’s disloyal to keep secrets, and it’s irresponsible to take on more responsibility when you’re planning on quitting. It’s unfair to make him believe you’re going to be there for life. The business world is a small world. You never want to burn bridges and make enemies. I don’t know if you’ve brought up your discontent or buried it with a fake smile. If you can approach your boss, discuss what makes you uncomfortable and what you would like to change. You had three good years. What changed? Why did you wait two years to address this? If it’s too late, do everything in your power to do damage control. When you do get a new job, give your boss as much notice as possible. Offer to work longer hours and weekends to help with the transition. Go above and beyond to train and support the person who will be taking over your job.
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